Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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