dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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