I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
