And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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