We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
