the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
As shirtless as possible
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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