We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
