Someone shit on the floor
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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