I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Found the puke drawer
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
