so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
