Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He better not be in your backpack
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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