Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize