Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
