Apparently you make a good broom.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
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the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
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And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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