Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
