Plan B is the new Plan A
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
