Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
