i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
