I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
