I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
