I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
tell me about the eggs
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
