Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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