im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
