We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
