the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
