i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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