It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Can I color on your dick again?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
