If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
