bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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