So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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