Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
