Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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