Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
