Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
