so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
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