I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
