Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
