"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
