His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
