This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
