He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
