watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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