I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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