Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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