he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Life is so much better after having sex.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
