It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Can Purell be used as lube?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
