So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize