Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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