Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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