Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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