he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
