the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We smell like vodka and hangover
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
