Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
