if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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