Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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