You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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