omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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