Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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