Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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