K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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