You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
