Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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